I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am

Draft Night is on Thursday night American time, Friday morning hear in Australia. Apart from the first twenty or so picks, the rest of the night is fairly mundane, unless you are following a certain player, which of course which will be Australian Patrick Mills for me. Draft night last year was pretty crap. I was following Nathan Jawai, wanting to see where he got drafted. OK, so he got drafted by the Pacers (eh) and got traded to the Raptors for Roy Hibbert. Worst thing was, they showed all picks except his. What a waste of 2-3 hours on a Friday morning. Now if you are reading this and live in the States, why not invite some friends over and make a night out of it with some Al-A-A-Al-A-Alcohol. Here is The Sixteenth Man's Draft Night Drinking Game!

ONE DRINK EVERY TIME/IF:

• A white player (especially Tyler Hansbrough) is called a hard worker.
• A black player is called a natural athlete.
• A draftee's mother is seen on camera crying uncontrollably.
  
• A draftee thanks God.
• A draftee looks visibly pissed off after he is drafted by an undesirable team.
• David Stern or Russ Granik screws up at the podium.
• A poor quality "highlights" package of an international player is shown (a Ricky Rubio or Brandon Jennings)
• The Portland Trailblazers make a trade.
  
• The phrase "Number One Pick Blake Griffin" is used.
• Blake Griffin is referred to as the "hybrid power forward".
• Draftees are seen swapping Caps after a trade.
• A draftee has "great upside".
  

TWO DRINKS EVERY TIME/IF:

• Spike Lee is shown.
• Knicks fans boo their draft choice regardless of who it is.
• The ESPN analysts correctly predict who gets taken next.
• Someone refers to Twitter.
• Someone other than Blake Griffin is referred to as a franchise player.
• Someone is referred to as a steal.
• The words "LeBron" and "James" are mentioned within the same sentence.
• Stuart Scott ejaculates when introducing the emotional story of a late first rounder / early second rounder.
• A player is compared to a wild animal.
  

A SHOT IF:

• Hasheem Thabeet falls outside the first six picks.
• Ricky Rubio falls outside the first six picks.
• None of the rumoured trades involving superstars go through.
• A trade involving Amare Stoudemire for "some guys" takes place. You can replace Amare Stoudemire with any other All Star (Ray Allen, Vince Carter etc.)
  
• A top 5 pick is traded.
• Brandon Jennings says Blake Griffin is "all hype".
  
• Gerald Henderson ends up somewhere other than Charlotte.
  
• Brandon Jennings is wearing a black bow tie to match his flat top.
• The Timberwolves, Knicks or Kings mess up their pick.
• A montage of previous Number One Picks is shown.

BOTTLE OF SCOTCH WHEN:

• The Clippers don't take Blake Griffin with the #1 Pick.

So with all this is mind, try to survive the next however many days for you until draft night. You will find yourself reading really poor mock drafts and taking them as gospel, you will find yourself reading about the true lottery picks that are #2 right through to pretty much #60. The unpredictability of this years draft will of course be very refreshing, with only Blake Griffin being a total 100% lock, and of course the number of rumours surrounding perennial All-Stars can only lead to some excitement and shaking up of predictions for next year.

Also, based on this announcement on the 76ers website, expect an entry tomorrow regarding the re branding of the organisation. Hopefully they go back to their throwbacks they wore last year on a permanent basis. They were sharp.

TSM